Second Place is the First Loser

Peace y’all,

I hate coming in second place. Like actually hate it. Silver? Bronze? Nah, I want gold. My roots are from Ghana—the Gold Coast. That’s literally what they called it. It’s in my blood. Nike said it best: “Winning isn’t for everybody.” And that’s real.

I’m a competitor. Always have been. Always will be.

Yeah, I played sports. Played football. But competition? It’s way deeper than that.

• I competed for my education. I fought for a scholarship at UMass when I didn’t get one off the jump. Watched my peers glide through school like money wasn’t a thing while I had to grind for mine.

• I competed in the classroom. One of the few Black students in my undergrad & masters program, still held down a 3.4 – 3.5 GPA. Proving I deserved my seat every single day.

• I competed with my own family. In a family of six, if you weren’t loud, you got drowned out. I had to fight to prove I knew what I was talking about. That I’d done my research. That my voice mattered.

• I competed against stereotypes. Growing up in the west side of Worcester, Massachusetts—predominantly white, Jewish community—I was always proving something. To them, I was more than the assumptions.

• I competed for my identity. Back then, being African wasn’t cool. I didn’t speak the language, and I had to figure out what it meant to be a first-gen Ghanaian in a world where I always felt like I was caught between three places.

So yeah, I don’t half-step. When I do something, I go all in. I study it. I obsess over it. I become it.

And that obsession? It starts with curiosity.

I’m the type of person who needs to know how things work. That’s what fuels me. I want to be a jack of all trades and a master of none—because a master of none is still better than a master of one. I want every tool in my bag so I can win. Period.

The Rejection is Real

The past few months? Man, I’ve been getting hit with L’s.

I’ve put in the work. Built relationships. Researched, Outline plans. Grabbed coffee, had lunches, sat down with people, talked vision, got excited about what was possible.

And then?

They told me in person.
They told me in my face.
They told me over the phone.
They told me over email.
They told me they were moving forward with someone else.

Bruh.

That? Hurts.

But here’s what I realized—the loss doesn’t happen when they say no. The loss happens way before that. It’s in the planning, the execution, the positioning.

If you lost, it’s because you weren’t ahead of the game.

The Shift: From Goals to Systems to Asking Better Questions

I’ve been rereading Atomic Habits, and it hit me—goals don’t win games. Systems do.

Goals? They’re fragile. They rely on motivation, energy, things you can’t control.

Systems? They’re bulletproof.

But even beyond that—it’s about asking the right questions. Because execution without the right questions? That’s just moving blindly.

Now, I’m obsessed with making sure I have clarity before I ever step in:

• What’s my systematic approach to knowing everything about an opportunity before I even pitch?

• How do I make sure my solutions aren’t just good, but transformative?

• How does this fit within my values, their values, and their overarching goals?

• Where are the real pressure points in their business? What’s the biggest pain point that isn’t being addressed?

• What’s the easiest, most frictionless way to get them to yes?

• What’s the difference between a client and a real partnership?

These are the questions I’m thinking about every single day. Because strategy isn’t just about how good you are—it’s about how well you understand the game.

Taking the Right Shots

Look at the Celtics. Their goal isn’t just to win games—it’s to increase their three-point percentage because the more they hit, the more they win.

That’s my new mindset. I’m not just taking more shots—I’m taking the right shots. The ones that count.

And that means:

• Investing in the right systems.

• Building the right team.

• Optimizing my time and energy for real impact.

• Making sure every move I make increases my likelihood of winning.

• Asking the hard questions before I even step in the room.

Because the truth is? Losing isn’t an option.

I’ll keep y’all updated on how this shift plays out. But if there’s one thing I need you to take from this? You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.

And right now? I’m building mine to be undeniable.

Peace,
Fredo